For a long time I've held a vision in my head, of my spirit traveling through space. This vision would come to me at the most random of moments: while at the gym, in the shower, or just before bed. 'What does this mean?' I used to wonder. I don't yet know, exactly, but I do know that I've traveled far in my life; further than I could have ever imagined.
Who was I? That 14 year old Missourian gay kid planning to move to LA as soon as he turned 18. That 18 year old who so desperately wanted to move to NYC, but instead ended up moving to Tacoma, Washington. That 26 year old who moved to Amsterdam and met his best friend. That 28 year old who moved to Zürich. But this is more than just changing cities. To be in transit is more about a mindset, like Marcel Proust once wrote, "The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new lands but seeing with new eyes."
When I read journals I wrote when I was 16, 17 - I barely recognize myself. Like many at that age I was stupid and naive. But I was also incredibly brave. I willed myself out of bad situations, bad circumstances. I knew that there was always something greater than a minimum wage job at the Tacoma Mall. I knew there was a light down the tunnel somewhere.
So, this vision I have. I'm not quite sure what it is but it comes to me, of me traversing through space. Through darkness and sometimes through light. I don't have all the answers, I don't exactly know what I am doing, where I'm going. But I do know that as long as I keep going, I will be all right.